Evaline Rose Bandy  41,42
- Born: 12 Apr 1930, Summit View, Near Puyallup, Pierce County, Washington, USA 42
- Marriage: James Robert Bixby  [LVZR-PR9] on 27 Aug 1948 in Tacoma, Pierce County, Washington, United States of America 42
FamilySearch ID: LVZR-PDC.
O'K! You asked about my grandmother and mother. It was only Grandma
Duncombe that I ever knew. She was a pleasingly plump lady probably about
my height. I remember her as somewhat a grouch or a crab. Belle remembered
similar. After my mother was divorced from Belle and Milton's father, they
lived with grandma and grandpa in southern California. My mother worked and
grandma took care of Milton and Belle. She remembers grandma as bossy and
cranky. so I guess I must come by it naturally, for I know I am bossy, but
I didn't think too cranky. I only knew grandma as they came to visit or I
spent a night with them at their Tacoma house when I was pre-school age. it
was a big old three story Warehouser Lumber Company House facing the Puget
Sound on a high hill overlooking the water. I was given the upstairs
enormous bedroom with just a little furniture in it. There was a doll
sitting on a child's chair that I remember pleasing me. There was a big
window overlooking the water. The room was very dark after grandma tucked
me in and left. There were searchlights that fanned across the window from
the water front and I didn't know what they were and was terribly
frightened. Grandma didn't put up with such nonsense. It was really scary
to me. There were 3 or 4 of those big Wearhouser houses there in a row on
the hill top. They had enormous yards with down-hill grass slopes and
terraces going down to the street level. They got one house to live in for
grandpa being the gardener for all of the places. The gardens were
beautiful and immaculate as I remember, Grandpa mowed all of that sloping
lawn with a hand push lawn mower. The shrubbery was pruned to perfection.
Grandpa was an excellent gardener. I would like to see that house now. As
I remember it was high ceilings, beautiful woodwork and moldings, Fireplaces
in all of the rooms, including the bedrooms. There must have been indoor
plumbing, but I don't remember that. There was a dumb-waiter that you could
pull wood up from the basement for the fireplaces by a rope. Grandma always
had a table cloth (white) on the big round oak dining room table and there
was always a big china pot of somekind that she kept graham cracker in for
Uncle Lorne and Grandpa. Later, Uncle Lorne bought 20 acres on the hill
just above Puyallup. Grandpa and Grandma came out there to live with him.
It was a little tiny old shack of a house, but Grandpa planted climbing
roses around it and had big rows of blooming pinks on both sides of the path
leading to the door. It was a beautiful little cottage in a fairy tale
book. They hand dug a basement under that house. No electricity, nor indoor
but an outhouse! Uncle Lorne hand dug a well and they pulled the water up by a
rope. I think mom brought their laundry home to wash for them, maybe they
had somekind of washer at first. Uncle Lorne caught a ride into Tatoma to
work. On Sundays there was a Church Bus from the Temple Baptist Church in
Tacoma that came out to pick them up so they could go to Church. One Sunday
Morning as Grandma was boarding, the driver got up to help Grandma in and he
hadn't set the brake or something--The bus moved and Grandma fell and broke
her hip. She was in her 70's. She was taken to the hospital and they
operated to repair the hip and she was full of cancer and they closed her
back up and she died in the hospital 3 weeks later That is the story as I
remember it being told. I was nine when she died. Grandpa stayed on with
Uncle Lorne and cooked for him a few more years. Then after my father died
the following year, Mom brought him out to live with us. So I was about 11
when grandpa started living with us. My mother was in the State mental
hospital the following year and Viola and I didn't take well to being bossed
by grandpa, but he tried! I was 12 and rebellious. That is another story.
From the time I was 10 and had a bicycle I rode the 3 miles to Uncle Lorne's
house to bring his laundry home for us to wash, until Uncle Lorne came to
live with us too. That was before grandpa died.
I guess Mama is another tale.
Mama – Mildred May Duncombe Bandy
My Mother was born in 1892, in Michigan. The family moved from Michigan when she was a young lady. What I remember being told is that they came across the country by train to southern California. My Nephew, Glenn (Bud) Cook says that they went by boat to the east coast of what is now the Panama Cannel, took a train across that narrow strip of land and came by ship to California Coast. They shipped their furniture by ship around the Horn. Mama’s first husband (Eugene?) Glover she had known in Michigan and he followed her across the country and they were married in California (I think). It did not work out and he left her when Milton and Belle were just toddlers. Belle says it was grandma's meddling that separated them. I suspect more than that. Anyway grandma took care of the children and mama went to work as a maid in a hotel. Belle didn't have too many good things to say about grandma's care. She was a crab! The family lived in several places in southern Calif. during these years. Grandpa tried homesteading and lost the places several times. Mom's sister married in Calif. too, that was Ermal Lowes; she was the mother of my cousins Bill Lowes and Mable Soars that I talk about from Calif. Grandpa, Grandma, Mama and 2 children and Mom's brothers, Uncles Bill, Lorne, John all came north to Washington. I remember that they came by ship from San Francisco to Tacoma or Shelton. Mama said she was terrible sick on the ship ride. They lived on a homestead at Kettle Falls, on the east side of the Mts. and then later lived in Shelton, or maybe it was reverse. I think it was at Shelton, that she met and married my father--anyway they lived in Oakland Edition, in Tacoma after they were married. Belle and Milton were young children. Eloise and Viola were both born while there and they moved out to the 10 acres farm at Summit when Viola was a baby and I was born at Summit. The depression was coming, Daddy was getting old and they thought they could work the farm and survive. Mama said she married an older man thinking she would have some stability. Daddy was still working at a mill in Tacoma, when I was a baby. I remember he still drove the old (Ford?) car--it had isinglass roll up windows on the sides. They thought they could at least live and raise some food on the farm. They hand milked about 10 cows, morning and night, we had a separator that we run the fresh milk through and sold cream in 5 gallons cans and the creamery truck came by and picked it up daily, I think. They had thousands of white leghorn chickens. They were good layers, but not much meat. I remember mama sitting for hours each evening and cleaning the eggs for the 30 dozen egg crates to be picked up by truck in the morning. Mama would fall asleep cleaning eggs and then when she got to bed, she couldn't sleep. Probably worrying about all the things that had to be done tomorrow. The surplus skim milk that we had left, went to the chickens and pigs. We sold baby pigs when they were 6 weeks old for feeder pigs. We used lots of the skim milk for the family too. We had pasture for the cows and calves, and put up hay every season. Had a big garden and canned and stored vegetables and fruits for the winter. We ate good. Lots of milk, cream and eggs and chicken every Sunday. Mama kept a close eye on the hens and butchered the ones that were not producing. When I started school, this was still the swing of things. As daddy could no longer do the work, the number of cows were reduced and the cream selling stopped. We kept the chickens going longer, but think they were gotten rid of when mama had her first nervous breakdown and had to go to the State Mental Hospital at Steilacome. That was in 1937, when I was 7. All three of us girls were shipped to relatives families for living that year. Eloise stayed with Belle and Glenn in Tacoma. They had the family of little boys that they needed help with. Viola went to stay at Docia's (in Tacoma), that was daddy's daughter by a former marriage. I was taken to live with Aunt Jenny and Uncle Bill at Redmond, Washington (near Seattle).
My mother worked very hard on the farm. As daddy's health failed, mama took more and more work on her shoulder's: however, she always wore a corset, underskirt, stockings, dress and apron. No matter how much dirty work she did, she was a lady and would not don pants. I can remember always wanting to go and do chores with her as a toddler. She got quite impatient with my doddling while going through the rooms of the chicken house. The chickens were separated by rooms and they wanted to keep the proper chickens in the correct rooms. I would get in the way with my wanting to do and be everywhere. I liked to help! I had the job of milking the cat pan (metal pie pan) full for the cats, as we always had lots of cats to catch the mice around the barn. I don't remember when I didn't know how to milk a cow, for I wanted to do and be everywhere. As I recall, Viola and Eloise were more indoors persons and they learned to cook more than I and at a younger age. We were all to take turns with the dishes, but we also all three tried to get to the piano to practice right after dinner and maybe we would get out of dishes. The separator disks were the most annoying part of dishes to do. There were 36 tin disks that had to washed and dried thoroughly, as it was important to keep these very clean and not let them rust. We hung them on a wire hanger that would open like a safety pin that daddy fixed. Then spread the disks out with air around them. My mother was fussy about this task. "A thing worth while doing at all is worth while doing right."
Thank you very much for the memories of your mother and grandmother. I put them into the family records.
Are you sure she divorced Glover? It would be good to know. The information I have is that she had him declared dead as she would not remarry while he was alive. Checking back in the records though that information only comes from my mother. Maybe I need to do more research on this point.
Also on losing the properties in California. Mom said that he would plant an orchard , get it into production, then sell it and start over again with a new orchard as he like getting them going more than taking care of them when they were in production. She said that one time he traded his orchard for wheat land in Kettle falls Washington m sight on seen and that is when they came to Washington by ship. He took one look at the land and knew he was took. So grandpa took a job as school janitor in Idaho that winter and then they moved to the Tacoma area.
Mom told me that Lorne proved up on his homestead in California by his military service and then homesteaded in the Shelton area. Later Grandpa and Grandma Duncombe went to live with him. Your mother stayed in the Tacoma area with Melton and her, but she and Melton spent the summers in Shelton.
Mom said that her mother met Grandpa Bandy at church and they married while she and Melton was spending the summer at Shelton. They came home to find her married. She never took to him and finally left home.
I have photos of that house your wrote about (3561 Gunnison, Tacoma, Washington) and some from the farm in Shelton. In fact some are up on the web:
Grandpa Duncombe and Grandma Mabee’s marriage licence is there also. Some say I am spelling Mabee wrong, but that is the way it is spelled on the marriage certificate, so I use that spelling.
Mom told me stories about Uncle Lorne pilling crates of chickens into a row boat and rowing them into Olympia to sell them. And about taking the ferry over in the spring and spending the summer with them.
How does this jive with your memories? It would be good to get it all sorted out and down on paper.
My first memories are of them living in Summit View on the farm and Grandpa and Grandma Duncombe living with Uncle Lorne on that farm I thing it was near Woodland. Not too far from your mother’s farm. So all the rest is stories my mother told me.
Thanks for your letter and memories. You may be more right than I on a lot of that. I think that may be right, on having Glover declared dead, as they couldn't find him.
You knew more than I on the shifting of properties. I wasn't there either. I just knew that they did a lot of moving. I too remember the mention of Kettle Falls and Shelton and Oakland Addition in Tacoma. I was not sure of what order or all of the circumstances of it all. I do think the place at Puallup (about 3 miles from Mom place) was Uncle Lorne's and Grandma and Grandpa came to live with him. That place was between the Puyallup Valley and Woodland. About a 1/4 mile on 96th off of Woodland Road, then a turn on a one lane gravel, and about 1/2 mile of the gravel to there house. I remember an awful bicycle spill as I went around the corner off of 96th and turned in the gravel going too fast. Wow! did I make a mess of a knee and leg. Grandma patched me up when I got there and tried to wash me up. Later I got blood poisoning in that knee and at 11 p.m.,one night a week or two later, Mama phoned Uncle John and Aunt Thelma to come and take me to the hospital. They cut the infection open and I think a quart of awful looking stuff poured out of my leg and it was a heck of a puddle on the floor. They put a tube in the hole to drain my leg and put me in a splint, so I couldn't bend my knee. It was a mess for 2 weeks or more. I think I had to soak it too! Anyway, it saved my life I guess, as the blood poisoning had gone clear up to my hip at that time, and that was before penicillin.
I too think that Bandy and Mom met at Church for they attended the Fern Hill Baptist Church before they moved to Summit and afterwards as long as Daddy could drive. Then when mama had no way to go to Church, we walked to Summit Methodist, but the Baptist came out to our house for Prayer Meetings on Wednesday evening for a while when I was very young. But when I was Baptized at 12 years, it was necessary to do it at the Baptist Church with immersion in the Baptistery there.
At sometime when Mom lived at Oakland Addition, Ruth (Milton's second wife) baby sat for Mom. She was a young neighbor girl at that time, (she was older than Milton).
Belle shared with me on the winter trips to California to see Mable, that Bandy was mean to her, abused and raped her. I had not known that before, but Viola confirms that information. Belle didn't like it and ran away with a girlfriend. When they were picked up, she was given the choice of going back home or the Girls Reform School. She choose the Reform School. I think she married your Dad shortly after she got out of there.
Hey! the new News from here is that Bob got his new Hybrid car: Toyota--Pruis. He is a happy man---the dream of his lifetime. We have it in the garage now, and he is reading the volumes of owners Manuel to learn how to work it. Mostly the starting and stopping procedures are different--other than that the driving seems pretty much the same. However beginning and ending are pretty important parts of driving, and we are old and a learn new patterns slower.
I have promised him that we would go for a ride today, maybe get Jay to go along for the ride.
However, when I drive up to the Family Picnic by myself this year, I am driving in my little red car--I feel safer in that for now. We have friends who will buy it from us after I get home that weekend. They will give us more for it than the dealer, and it will still be a good deal for them.
With Love, Evaline
During the year that us girls stayed with relatives, while Mama was in the State Hospital, I think most of the livestock was sold. Daddy may have kept one cow and a few chickens and maybe a pig. His health was declining for he was 79 years old by this time and he had asthma and often would get fits of coughing. He was not able to keep the farm work going.
In the hospital we saw Mama very few times and when we did see her, I remember she seemed pretty vague, and didn't always seem to know us. I was a little frightened by the experience as I remember. They had given her electric shock treatments, and they would knock out her memory. When she began to come back, she would write who she was and then try to list and recall family members. It was very hard for her. She seemed fearful and withdrawn. When she was able to come home she was left with just Daddy at home and to begin the task of adjusting again. As school was let out, we kids came back home. Aunt Jenny was expecting a baby soon (Karen), and I did not even know it! I was 8, how times change!
I thought mama acted very strange when I came back home. It was very difficult for her to adjust to society again. Anyone who had to go to the State Hospital in those days was thought to be really crazy, there was no thought that it was mental illness. We felt shunned and with a stigma. Also we had an old Dad and people laughed and told us that he wasn't our real father. I didn't know what they meant at that time, but I believe that he was our real father to this day. Mama finally made the transition back, got back to going to Church and visiting neighbors. We again had a garden, a few more chickens, geese, rabbits, 1 or 2 cows, and an old sow to raise pigs with. Mama would raise fryers, and rabbits and butcher them to sell from a roadside sign. Also we sold extra milk, butter, cottage cheese, eggs and vegetables and fruit from the garden this way. At that time people were very happy to buy farm fresh produce. During the World War II, butter was rationed and there was a big demand, as mama didn't ask for ration stamps for it as the stores did. At that time too, individuals were encouraged to raise victory gardens in any little plot of ground they had.
By this time Daddy had gotten rid of the old car and we either walked, or caught a ride. This too was not unusual at this time, as gas was rationed also and that kept fewer cars on the road. We walked to Church and to the grocery store. Mama would try to see a friend at the store and catch a ride home if possible, if not we carried them the mile home. We kids had always walked to Woodland Grade School since the 1st grade and it was 1 1/2 miles away. If we needed to go to town, (Tacoma), there was a Woodland Bus we could catch, but we didn't go often for it costs money. That we had little of! There was the Old age pension for Daddy, probably when he quit work, I'm not sure when it started. Not a lot! I remember Mama kept the roadside money in and big old China sugar jar. That was the families spending money. I don't remember any allowance like we give kids now. The summer I was 7, I picked raspberries at a neighboring patch. I earned 75cents for the season. It was probably a short season for me--hard work and I didn't pick too good, I think now. But I was pretty proud of that 75 cents and I bought Mama a glass pie pyrex plate with my 75 cents for her July 24th. I picked berries every season after that and did better and better; earning my school clothes from then on through my 16th year.
Milton's wife, Ranghild (Marian Glover's mother), was from Dennmark where bicycling was very popular and she had a bicycle. She encouraged Mama to get a bicycle for transportation and I had learned to ride a bicycle when I lived with Aunt Jenny and Uncle Bill the year I was 7. So with my berry money that year went to buy my new bicycle, $10. I recall. Then mama I I rode together to the Church or the Store and put our groceries on the back to carry home. We also rode the 3 miles to Uncle Lorne's to pick up his dirty clothes to launder and take the clean ones back. During these years, I helped mama do all of the outside work and Eloise and Viola had to do more housework and cooking. They also had to help in the garden, but didn't like too.
This was about in 1939, and I believe Grandma died that year, and Eloise and Wade got married, I think she was 16. Mama had a nice wedding in our house, as I recall. They had fixed the last room of the chicken house up for there living quarters, and Larry arrived when I was 10 and that same year Daddy died and Grandpa came to live with us soon after.
With Love Evaline
Evaline married James Robert Bixby  [LVZR-PR9] [MRIN: 16], son of Raymond Sumner Bixby  [KHY7-NX1] and Martha Jay Gerking  [KZFF-MNR], on 27 Aug 1948 in Tacoma, Pierce County, Washington, United States of America.42 (James Robert Bixby  [LVZR-PR9] was born on 30 May 1923 in Milton Freewater, Oregon 42 and died on 23 Jun 2013 in Saint Helens, Columbia County, Oregon, USA.)